Thursday, February 26, 2009

Only 900 Million For The Palestinians? Cheapskate!

I'm steamed like rice right now. The thugs and murderers bombarding Israel with rockets from Gaza are only getting 900 million dollars from the United States! P. BAMA-O! Are you sure you can spare that much?
I usually tip 15% myself, unless I'm displeased with the service, but...
According to Secretary of State Clinton (I'm making this part up) the pale-stinkians have many 'shovel ready' projects-munitions from Germany, rockets from North Korea, etc.
That 'etc' alone needs at least 100 million, as inflation is rampant there next to the Holy Land.
Also, you can't expect the female suicide bombers to be caught dead in last year's burkas!

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Too Cool To Be Cold Edition Of Random Thoughts Tuesday

I'm no pony, but I was a little hoarse last night. I knew better than to strain my voice after having been sick/coughing for a week, but my church was hosting a Hymn singing, and I wanted to be a part of it. It was great fun, even though I had to sing low. I'll tell you about my Bass years someday.
Once home I watched parts of the Oscars telecast, and it wasn't as bad as some years. "My" pick for Best Picture had a Batman; I was pleased that "Slumdog Millionaire" did so well, as I've heard that it is a very good movie.
A bit of all right-I listen to a radio program, "Hamish and Andy" through iTunes which is great fun-they are one of the top radio shows in Australia; for the fun of it Hamish called backstage at the Oscars during the show, got a hold of a prop guy, and pretended to be Hugh Jackman asking a favor, if 'he' could have some background props as souvenirs, sent to his mate Hamish back in Australia. Good fun. Look for it online or through iTunes if you'd like to expand your auditory horizons a bit.
Random thoughts means that when I get tired, two can be enough for a post. May God richly Bless you today. Three!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Teaching Rounds At Obama General Hospital

NARRATOR: Our scene opens as Dr Obama, fearless and handsome teaching surgeon of Obama General Hospital is delivering a series of incredibly glib and fascinating medical facts to his adoring crowd of student doctors.

DR OBAMA: And that, students, is how you save the life of a patient suffering from ...insomnia!
(Cheers and clapping break out among the students. One faints.)
DR OBAMA: I’ve just been notified that our special patient has arrived for today's operation! Wheel him in!
(Two men, Dr. Cramer and his patient, Rob Economy walk in. Dr Cramer crosses right to Dr Obama)
DR CRAMER: Are you nuts? You have Mr Economy dragged down here? For What?
DR OBAMA: Who are you?
DR CRAMER: Doctor James Cramer, Mad Money Medical University! I have been one of the attending physicians for Mr Economy for years, and he's in perfect health!
DR OBAMA: Nonsense! That kind of thinking is what got the patient in such dire physical condition! Look at him!
DR CRAMER: I AM looking at him! Look! He's doing jumping jacks!
DR OBAMA: A seizure of some kind. Can't you hear his cries of pain?
DR CRAMER: That's Opera! We just ran twelve miles to get here, and Mr Economy isn't even winded!

NARRATOR: Dr Obama stared down at Dr Cramer with disgust, then, with a wink to his students, their cue to start laughing derisively at Dr Cramer's foolishness, Dr Obama walked slowly around the patient, arms crossed, obviously deep in thought. He looked very Doctorable.

DR OBAMA: Dr Cramer...can’t you see the very apparent bruises and wounds on all parts of the patient's body?
DR CRAMER: No bruises. No open wounds. Skin is healthy and unmarked. Notice that he's now doing one handed pull ups off that light.
DR OBAMA: The patient, Mr Economy, can hardly move he's in such pain! And YOU, Cramer, and your foolish outdated ideas of medicine have nearly killed the patient in your care! You're done here!
(Dr Obama signals to two orderlies who put a pillowcase over Dr Cramer's head and drag him out.)
DR OBAMA: Mr Economy, come here, please.
(Rob Economy puts down the gurney he'd been doing bench curls with and respectfully stands in front of Dr Obama)
DR OBAMA: Now students, notice that I don't ask the patient how he is feeling-he isn't a superbly trained medical professional as I am, so his opinion is worthless. My associates, Drs Pelosi and Reid will now prepare the patient for surgery. Mr Economy, please lay down on that operating table.
MR ECONOMY: I feel fine, Doc. But you're the doctor, so...okay!
(Mr Economy lies down and is quickly strapped to the table. Dr Reid places a block of wood between the patients ankles, while Dr Pelosi hefts her sledgehammer, a strange smile playing on her lips.)
Dr Pelosi: Mr Economy, I'm your biggest fan! But you brought this on yourself, and it's for your own good!
(Dr Pelosi swings the sledgehammer up above her head only to be stopped with a word from Dr Obama)
DR OBAMA: Dr Pelosi! Don't you think it would be a good idea to sedate the patient before you perform the surgery restoring his ability to walk? Dr Reid, if you would, please administer the anesthetic!
(Dr Reid walks up close to the patient)
Dr REID: This war is lost. This is the worst of all possible situations to ever plague our country in these perilous times. The Republicans are to blame for every fault, every mistake ever blundered, every crime perpetrated upon this lost and forlorn land. We have no bright future. All is darkness. There is no hope.
(Mr Economy is soon under; two student doctors standing too near fall into catatonic states.)
DR OBAMA: Now will notice...that I do not ask you how we should proceed with treatment.
That's because this is all about MY teaching you, not you showing off your ignorance. There is only ONE possible course of treatment which will save this patient's life!
(The student doctors wait, giddy with hushed anticipation for the words of wisdom from their mentor. Dr Obama beams with pride, knowing that his brilliance on this day will make his legend even more golden and glorious.)
DR. OBAMA: Leeches, Gentlemen! We shall apply 2,000,000,000,000 Leeches!

Thursday, February 19, 2009


"5 A father of the fatherless and a judge £for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land." Psalm 68:5-6

If you ever wander existentially, thinking the Big thoughts but coming up with tiny answers, here are a few bon knots:
The true God is not defined by us but only by Himself.
I think that God keeps us here to be here for one another. Our main purpose in existence is to Glorify God; we do that in part by acting Godly towards one another. What God tells us in His word is that we are closest to His heart when we show mercy, forgive slights, help those who need help, seek to always be honest and forthright in our dealings with each other, and much more.

"31“But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. 32“All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; 33and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.
34“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’" Matthew 25:31-40

There's more to this scripture, but this post isn't about the goats-you can read that for yourself.
The sheep know their Master's voice, and show kindness, as they are shown kindness. They have mercy for others because they have been granted mercy.
It really is that simple. May God richly Bless you today.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

You Haven't Updated Your Blog, Man

A man showed up for his psychiatric appointment on a snowmobile.
His doctor ran out to meet him:
"No no NO! I said bipolar, not buy Polaris!"

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Democrats in charge of the Budget is like
hiring an alcoholic to guard your liquor cabinet.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

G.K.I.O.D. 2-11-2009

Join my dream. Not yet in progress, but join me in celebrating the idea of 'Global Knock It Off Day'.
I'm thinking Wednesday, February 11th, 2009, if that's good for you. Here's how it works:
On that Day, all grudges are done and over with. All nursed resentments and hatreds around the world
would expire this coming Wednesday-no new blood oaths for recent outrages will be sanctioned. None.
Not a one. Red Light Green Light remains Red, the music stops at midnight and whichever chair or country you hold at that moment is all you get, so be happy with it.

Israel? Gaza? Iran? All done fighting. Work on improving the lives of those in your countries.
Japan? China? Korea? It's over-at Midnight Wednesday you have to make nice with your neighbors, treating each other as you want to be treated...where have I heard that before?

Excuse me, were your great grands slaves? Bought/Sold? Emancipation was proclaimed 130some years ago-let it go, earn your own way. Forget about being owed anything for what happened 140some years ago.
Are you descended from someone dispossessed of land 300some years ago? Get in line-no one owns land-you take nothing with you when you die, including deeded properties. My great great great grands got chased out of more countries than you can count on your aggrieved left hand. I have no simmering hatred for any of the landowners who dispossessed my relatives in Ireland, Scotland, England, Norway, Sweden, Germany, or Canada. I have no beef with anyone long dead and gone. You say they were bad people-are you better?
Muslims? Stuck on Red Light, meaning that you stay where you are permanently. Everyone else will also abide.
By the bye-there's no 'Or else'. I have no club or Q-bomb to threaten the world with. I keep hearing about how civilized we have become-this is our chance to prove that we have moved beyond threats, counter threats, demands and grievances. Let it go and live in Peace.
Global Knock It Off Day. Who's with me?

Monday, February 02, 2009

A Positive Positive

Chesed. There, I've said it-but what have I said?

Here it is as found in the Holman Bible Dictionary:
"LOVING KINDNESS Occasional KJV translation of the Hebrew, chesed. The Old Testament’s highest expression for love. It is variously called God’s election-, covenant-keeping, or steadfast love. It is a love which remains constant regardless of the circumstances. Although used mostly with God, it sometimes is used of love between people."

In the KJV Old Testament the word occurs 249 times, according to someone who counted them all. However many times it occurs, my favorite 'chesed' verse is found in Lamentations:
“21This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22It is of the LORD’S mercies {chesed} that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 24The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 26It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.”
Lamentations 3: 21-26 KJV

I usually work with the New American Standard version, which translates that particular ‘chesed’ as “lovingkindnesses”.
I LOVE the plural! Not one kindness, but many.
His compassions are new every morning, meaning that He is showing us compassion even before we wake up-His is a continual ‘chesed’ towards His children, His elect.
Praise God for His many kindnesses!