With cameras rolling, backed by smiling Cabinet members, President Obama held up the first pen.
"As I have stated many times, the United States will never, and I mean NEVER negotiate with Terrorists. That is our law and we are a nation of Laws." With great flourish, Obama pulled the pen from the cap-"Today, I sign a Presidential Directive designating the Taliban as 'Freedom Fighters'!"
The Cabinet cheered and applauded as he put name to paper, then hushed as he uncapped the next pen.
"We will never, and I mean NEVER devalue the lives of our soldier citizens by agreeing to excahnge
war prisoners to win their release. With this pen I sign my Presidential Directive setting the exchange rate at five prisoners to one soldier. This means that rather than devaluing our military women and men, we esteem them to be worth five times as much as our Freedom Fighting Partners in Peace!"
Joe Biden openly wept, looking straight into camera two, as President Obama signed history.
He paused dramatically before picking up the third pen.
"With this final pen today, a special pen once owned by that great Patriot Pol Pot, I sign my magnificent name to a Presidential Directive declaring the dissolution of both the Tea and Republican Parties. We will have PEACE! No more war loving so-called Patriots sending our young people into harm's way! We have WON!"
3 comments:
Okay, all right-I admit that it's not as funny if you aren't familiar with "The Threeenny Opera". Stop Googling yourself for a minute and check it out.
No one can argue against the fact that the Taliban ARE Freedom Fighters-they have been Fighting Freedom since their inception.
What was the alternative? Had these creeps beheaded one of our own, would you have cut Obama some slack and said, "Hey, at least he didn't negotiate"?
Consider this, James-agreeing to bargain with any enemy concerning lives for lives basically sets a price,
creates a market.
'these creeps' have killed many of 'our own', and will do so again and again if they think we would rather bargain than fight.
It sets a price on the heads of any future captured troops.
It may sound barbaric, but if our policy is that we do not 'negotiate' with terrorists, we should stand by what we claim.
Those five 'senior' terrorists that have been released? I would have made an example of them, one that proved that we don't negotiate. Period.
I am former military, and even though I served in peacetime, I know bad policy that emboldens the enemy and hurts our side.
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