alleged proto of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
His main CTF?
Keeping the Muslims from taking over Europe.
His diplomacy included large pointed sticks...and he succeeded.
As a boy he had been kidnapped/ransomed by the Ottomans (Muslims); he learned their language and later in life would dress as an Ottoman (no mention made of a cohort disguised as a Lazyboy), infiltrate their camps and set about perpetrating as much breaking bad as he could.
If he were here working his progrom (sorry-program) today, Democrats would call him a hater and write legislation demanding that the large pointed sticks not exceed a half an inch in length, be composed only of air as wood is harmful to the environment. I know, right?
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For those unfamiliar, and I know who you are...this is an example of humor. Don't be scared.
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