carry around reasons "WHY" they deserve misery. I use the metaphor of 'little hammers'. They have a collection of little hammers with which to hit, to knock themselves down."
That is internal.
External?
If there is someone whom you dislike, do not respect...you will jump on any decision
of that person, becoming hyper-hypercritical.
Every single move of that person you will see in absolutely the worst light.
Ask anyone about their EX. You know what I mean.
You will convince yourself that they deserve every punishment which happens, and also believe that they do not deserve to be credited with any accomplishment.
Why?
Simply because you don't like them.
A person with low self esteem punishes himself,
OR
projects that displeasure onto others that they can safely find fault with.
It's all defense mechs. Rather than beating themselves up, they find a target they can unload on to make themselves feel better.
They will grab any hammer to toss at that person-he's too smug, he's a liar, she's a fake, whatever.
What you see above are Dulcimer hammers. What kind of music you make with them is up to you.
Not everyone suffers from low self esteem.
Some with rhinoceros skin have a greater self esteem than they ought. Just another defense mech to make it through life.
Is there a happiness medium? Well?
Yes. don't beat yourself up, and don't believe your own press.
Forgive the hammer target, whether it's yourself or another. Forgive-we're all just living, sharing the earth's crust. Seek peace.
1 comment:
Again and again I say that these theories are mine alone-you won't find 'little hammers' in any sociology or psychology book. They have come about through interactions with many in my life who have suffered with mental/emotional issues. I think I first used the theory of 'little hammers' over 30 years ago. That friend back then...is still a mess.
It isn't a joke, but those who wish to will mock.
I can handle it, what with my rhino skin.
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