Ann Coulter For President! (less offensive title for post)

Okay Islamists! Your new day has begun! I am now telling you what to do, and if you resist, so help me Allah, right before you appear on CNN I will untie your head scarves and tie them back up again so they look just Horrible!
What do you think of THAT, Mohammed? I laugh at your beard which scares young backwards children! HAH!
As you think you can dictate to the West, I now DEMAND that you in Muslandia do things MY way, even though I am just one man who will never visit your countries, read your newspaper cartoons or vote in your fake elections.
HAH! HAH!
If you do not bow to my wishes RIGHT NOW, you’re going to need Allah’s older brother and all of his shiftless friends to clean up the mess you will make on the floors while shaking in fear!
You may have done it all your lives, but you do not yet know the meaning of TERROR!
You see, allah stinkin bomb attacks and flag burnings you’ve done so far are just amateur night at St. Stevie’s Bingo Hall-you may be able to put thousands of bodies out on the streets yelpin and carryin on like they’re mad about somethin...but I got the Q-Bomb, baby, and I’m willing to use it!
First, a few lesser demands:

I hearby institute Sadie Hawkins Days to be held on John Wayne’s birthday in every Muslim country.
See if any woman given the free choice of chasing or running away FROM you will show up on your Radar.
If she chooses to run, she is free indeed, and never has to live in fear of you again. I’ll even set up schools and teach the women skills! Take that, Ahab!

I hearby declare that all political hotspots in Muslandia (Iran, Syria, France-you know who you are) be replaced with WiFi hotspots, so people can hook up to the ‘Net with decent speed, even when d/l the latest episode of “Lost”.

I demand that you give back the United Nations. No whining-I know it hasn’t been of much use to you, but it has sentimental value to me-Danny Kaye used to head UNICEF, and I loved him in “The Court Jester”!

My final demand for Today is the biggie. Oil, $20.00 a barrel. You can still make a profit, but will no longer be the tool turning the hexnuts of the world’s economy. $25.00 a barrel if you invest in educating your populations in how to make Peace instead of War-and I’ll be judging honest effort. Keep on hating and me and my Q-Bomb will have you wishing you could get .25 cents a barrel for that stuff!

So take heed, you unworthies who do not even know how to dress for the Theater! I can get pretty darned ticked off, and my finger is just a few feet away from the Q-Bomb at all times; so make my day, or I’ll remake yours Forever.

A Valentine for You

I read this article today that started me thinking about love, and what God’s word says love is. If you’ve spent anytime at all listening to a pastor teach, you may have heard that the bible uses four Greek words for love: Philía is the Greek word for love between friends--brotherly love, I guess. Storgé is an affectionate love in a family, especially between parents and children. Éros is basically attraction, sometimes sexual, but also can describe the pull towards God, or the attraction of the unsaved to the Saints. Agápe (Latin charitas) (English word derivative cherishing) is spiritual, the unselfish Christian love summed up by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13.

Of course, I think it would be safe to say that the highest of these would be agápe, the love that does not always run with the natural inclination, that seeks the welfare of all and works no ill to any, in search of opportunity to do good to all men. [From notes on Thessalonians, by Hogg and Vine, p. 105/ Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words]. This is the kind of love that all Christians should desire to show to the world. We nurture this kind of love when we strive to understand and obey God. But since this is Valentine’s Day, I am going to go on for a moment about the attraction that is, in this culture anyway, the instigator of most romantic relationships.

I wasn’t a Christian and was very young when I met my husband, so any noble attitude about love was lost on me at that time. It was all about the attraction. I did what came naturally when it came to sexual attraction, and –yada yada yada-, I became pregnant. My husband, who was not a Christian, but a good and honorable guy, married me, and pretty soon we had a family, and affectionate family love has been a part of our lives since.

It is a grave error to choose a mate based solely on attraction, and my marriage lasting 31 years is the exception to the rule, and I can only say that God has intervened mightily in it. Anyone considering marriage must realize that besides the decision to follow Jesus, your choice of a life-long mate is the most important decision you will ever make. Many of the attractions to our mate are completely foolish and wrong. In fact, so many things I found attractive about my husband were simply not true, but were day-dreams that I carried on in a sort of imaginary relationship in my head. And my husband has said things to me that make me realize he wasn’t really attracted to the real me either, but more to the me he thought I should be. Sometimes we commit to a person we don’t really know. This is the truth of the matter--what makes the love work is not the attraction, but the commitment. And although I know there are marriages that last without the Lord, it seems to me so much more difficult to make it through the trials with dignity and hope without that firm foundation that is the Lord, and the commitment to Him to hang in there.

It’s funny, but the attraction that brought my husband and I together and seemed so irresistible in my youth has become the least of the “loves” in my life. I am not making a comment on my sex life here. I am just pointing out that attracting love is the one love that diminishes just as surely as one must age. And sometimes the thing that was attractive at the time (“Isn’t it cute how he can fall asleep anywhere?”) becomes the very thing that drives us crazy (“It is so annoying when he falls asleep in church!”).

A cord of three strands is stronger than a cord of two. I thank God that He is the other strand that has made the commitment to love strong in my life.

Love Not Me
by John Wilbye

Love not me for comely grace,
For my pleasing eye or face,

Nor for any outward part:
No, nor for a constant heart!
For these may fail or turn to ill:
Should thou and I sever.

Keep, therefore, a true woman's eye,
And love me still, but know not why!
So hast thou the same reason still
To dote upon me ever.

*******************
Happy Valentine’s Day!

And here’s a funny joke that reminded me of Doug: Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"
Bud ump um.

le

Need A Fulltime Job?

Abraham Lincoln was born in Hardin County, Kentucky on February 12, 1809. Interestingly, Charles Darwin was born on the same day in Shrewsbury, England. While Lincoln spent his life trying to convince people that they were all created equal, Darwin spent his trying to convince them that they weren't created at all.

We all remember the stories of Lincoln's childhood in Kentucky and Indiana, how he was born into the Godly family of Tom Lincoln and Nancy Hanks, how deeply affected he was by the death of his beloved mother when he was ten, and the death of his older sister, Sarah in 1828. We know of his move to Illinois, how he studied on his own, and how he eventually entered into politics. We know how devastated he was by the untimely death of his first true love, Anne Rutledge, and his subsequent marriage to Mary Todd, a woman who always considered him beneath her. Perhaps we even remember that of their four sons only one, Robert, survived his 19th birthday. We may recall the famous debates with Stephen Douglas in the course of which he first broached the subject of slavery. Surely we remember his November 19, 1863 visit to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. With thousands of white crosses stretching as far as the eye could see President Lincoln gave the most memorable and most often recited speech of his life. Edward Everett, the renowned orator and principal speaker of the day, spoke for two hours. Lincoln spoke for two minutes. After Lincoln had finished, Everett passed him a note of appreciation which read, "I should be glad, if I could flatter myself that I came as near to the central idea of the occasion, in two hours, as you did in two minutes."

We all know, or should know, the Gettysburg Address. It's words and imperatives should be emblazoned on the heart of every American. I reproduce it here because if you don't know it, you should and if you do...it doesn't hurt to be reminded.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

On November 10, 1977, in a speech at Hillsdale College in Michigan, then President Ronald Reagan remarked, "Freedom is ... never more than one generation away from extinction." If the final words of the Gettysburg Address are not part of your daily life, you are living on borrowed time paid for by others. Freedom isn't just a word; it's a fulltime job.

Nuda Veritas

So They Want a Cartoon Fight, Do They?

When Allan mentioned Pogo over at Michael's site I went over to my bookshelf and took down an old Pogo book; Here imagine Pogo as representing Denmark and all of the West-while Churchy and Ol' Owl with their manufactured outrage fill in quite nicely for the Muslims pursuing their agenda. It not an exact allegory, as Pogo tries to placate them by swearing an oath-but since Walt Kelly drew this in the early 1950's-close enough for comparison.
Elsewhere I've noted that it was an Arab who invented the game of Chess-and that this current cartoon crisis is the latest gambit of a global chess game, with the Muslims guaging our reactions to their 'moves', modifying their attack, seeking Checkmate.
Praise God we have a King who can't be captured, lured into an indefensible position, or even stalemated. It was never even a contest:Jesus Christ has Won. And the Muslims are among the sore losers.
Here's a related thought which may seem unrelated:
"Satan has never had a single friend."

Time To Answer The Call

It's time to stand up and be counted. Denmark, population five and a half million living within sixteen and a half thousand square miles is under attack by Islamic extremism. This tolerant little nation which ferried all but a few of its Jewish citizens to safety even while occupied by the Nazis, part of the coalition to liberate Kuwait, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq, Denmark is now the battleground in the coming war, the Islamicization of the world. The extremists want Sha'aria law to become part of national law, an impossibility if freedom of speech and religion are to prevail.

Do a little research on the allegedly offensive cartoons which were first published last September or save time and read Michelle Malkin who has already researched this manufactured controversy. Follow the links for the full story and then sign the petition in support of Denmark and buy Danish goods.

When the world was largely against us, Denmark stood with us. It's time to repay the favor. Don't sit this one out, the price for doing nothing is too high.

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - -
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - -
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - -
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - -
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me - -
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Martin Niemoeller

I pray that Denmark not cave in to the intimidation. I pray that the rest of the civilized world stand by Denmark. I pray that the enemies of civilization may be confounded in their efforts. I pray that the Lord come now.

Nuda Veritas

“Git Yer Biscuits”

Al right. All Right. Okay. When the Earth starts spinning into grimmer shadows,
sometimes we need to take a breather. One of the natural states of man is to be laughing.
We cherish the entertainers who make us laugh, the funny uncle with the bad jokes (me), the wordsmiths who punctuate a page with laughter and wisdom, from Mark Twain to Kinky Friedman to Lewis Grizzard (Did I miss anybody?).
We’ve all read Mark Twain, some under duress, with a chalk eraser pointed at our head.
Not as many will have read Kinky Friedman, musician, novelist, writer of etiquette guides and recently biographical sketches of some of his friends (‘Scuse Me While I Whip This Out’-Willy Nelson, George Bush, Don Imus and others across the social plains). In these politically correct days I refuse to mention his ode to Women‘s Liberation. But you could look it up. (Hint: the name of this post)
Here’s a health tip: Go to a used bookstore and find and read Lewis Grizzard. Journalist, columnist, Atlanta Braves Fan. Author of many fine musings collected in:
“I Haven’t Understood Anything Since 1962 (And Other Nekkid Truths)”
“Shoot Low, Boys, They’re Riding Shetland Ponies”
“You Can’t Put No Boogie-Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll” and of course,
“Don’t Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, ‘Cause You Know Them Tater’s Got Eyes.”

And have fun out there.

Who Let Her In?

I’ve been reading a lot about the most recent Islamic upheaval, and I can see that there is a wide divergence of opinions even among conservatives about what is going on. Some think it’s a tempest in a teapot, others feel it is the global continuance of the French riots of last Summer; I don’t know.
But I do know this: Look at the lives of those who are motivated by hate. See how they run. See how miserable they are, how negative they are. In the collage that I put together-see the woman smiling, pointing above her head at the caricature of President Bush losing his? That part I didn’t touch-she really is pointing at that sign with a smile on her face.
Hate eats you up until there’s nothing left but rotted squash and stinky bones.
I don’t hate, but do feel sorry for the Muslim trapped by fear in a hateful false religion. Fear feeds the anger feeds the pride feeds the riots.
So why do I post pictures like this? Because I love being free, and I love living in a country where we have the freedom to speak our minds. And I wanted the picture to be a mirror-I want that smiling woman to see how hateful her actions are. I want the Muslim to see what free speech can be like-that the Terroristic Islamists cannot run roughshod over free speech in the West as they do in Islamic countries.
Free speech -I exercised my free speech today by deleting comments made by Antigone here. They weren’t all negative, they weren’t all argumentative, or disrespectful; but some were, and I just cleaned house. After I had edited offensive comments from her awhile back, she posted a link back to her blog where she really cut loose with the vileness, knowing that I and others would check out the link. She has the right to say whatever she wants on her site-that is absolutely free speech. But when she’s a guest, she should remember that she’s a guest, and attempt to be polite. If all she has are arguments-if all she is IS contrary--so sorry, busy enjoying life here; come back last week and try again.

Some Words Last

In keeping with the light-hearted subject matter of this week I decided to scour my memory of memorable movie lines which impressed me through the years. Some occurred in conversations which provide context and make the line more meaningful, but I restricted my list to only the memorable line. I used no particular criteria except whatever came off the top of my head and then I checked the line for accuracy via Google & imdb searches. I came up with thirty particularly tittilating ones, at least to me, and here they are in chronological order.

NOTE: I know I omitted the line corresponding to the picture ("We'll always have Paris." Humphrey Bogart, Casablanca (1942), but that would have made 31. Anyway, I love the picture and besides now it is included.

01. "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into." Oliver Hardy, Sons Of The Desert (1933)

02. "Oh, no! It wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast." Robert Armstrong, King Kong (1933)

03. "But what in the world do they want a trumpet for?" Maidel Turner, It Happened One Night (1934)

04. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Clark Gable, Gone With The Wind (1939)

05. "I'll think about it tomorrow." Vivien Leigh, Gone With The Wind (1939)

06. "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." Judy Garland, The Wizard Of Oz (1939)

07. "Rock, sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper." Ronald Reagan, Knute Rockne: All-American (1940)

08. "Maybe that makes us tough. Rich fellas come up an' they die, an' their kids ain't no good, an' they die out. But we keep a-comin'. We're the people that live. Can't nobody wipe us out. Can't nobody lick us. We'll go on forever, Pa. We're the people." Jane Darwell, The Grapes Of Wrath (1940)

09. "The, uh, the stuff that dreams are made of." Humphrey Bogart, The Maltese Falcon (1941)

10. "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!" Alfonso Bedoya, Treasure Of Sierra Madre (1948)

11. "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." Orson Welles, The Third Man (1949)

12. "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." Bette Davis, All About Eve (1950)

13. "Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup." Gloria Swanson, Sunset Boulevard (1950)

14. "He'll regret this to his dying day, if ever he lives that long." Victor McLaglen, The Quiet Man (1950)

15. " Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it." James Stewart, Harvey (1950)

16. "Gort! Klaatu barada nikto." Michael Rennie & Patricia Neal, The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)

17. "You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let's face it......It was you, Charley." Marlon Brando, On The Waterfront (1954)

18. "Don't he never sleep?" Billy Chapin, Night Of The Hunter (1955)

19. "Don't ask me again...don't ever ask me again." John Wayne, The Searchers (1956)

20. "It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It's a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known." Dirk Bogarde, A Tale Of Two Cities (1958)

21. "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room." Peter Sellers, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb (1964)

22. "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" Dustin Hoffman, The Graduate (1967)

23. "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it." Hal (disembodied computer voice), 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

24. "Afghanistan Bananastan" Robert Redford, The Hot Rock (1972)

25. "Bleucher! Bleucher!" Marty Feldman, Young Frankenstein (1974)

26. "You're gonna need a bigger boat." Roy Scheider, Jaws (1975)

27. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning, you know one time we had a hill bomb, 12 hours. When it was all over I walked up, we didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body. Smell, that gasoline smell, smells like.....Victory." Robert Duvall, Apocolypse Now (1979)

28. "They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God." Dan Akroyd, The Blues Brothers (1980)

29. "If you build it, he will come." Disembodied Voice (God?), Field Of Dreams (1989)

30. "Houston, we have a problem." Tom Hanks, Apollo 13 (1995)

I'm stopping at thirty only because I'm tired of searching and you're tired of reading (if you've even gotten this far). This list could easily extend to a thousand and more because there are so many lines which just knock your socks off, but because they are surrounded by action or other distractions they don't have the impact they might otherwise have had. They become throw-away lines and get lost in the shuffle. I'm sure I left off some of your favorite lines, especially since my list is predominantly pre-1980. Feel free to hate my list, produce your own, or ignore it altogether. Whatever your choice though, enjoy it.

By the way, maybe someone could come up with a list of forgettable lines. That might be even more fun.

Allan

Just enough time on my hands...

Grrr. Muslims are angry because cartoons hurt their little feelings, and they must either cry or demonstrate against Denmark. Remember, folks, you can't spell demonstrate without beginning with 'demon'. Actually, the devil DOES make them do it-the Bible calls him 'The Father of Lies' and I think it's pretty well established that he is the Father of Hate, also. These are his kids acting up like they just had their first drink. Grrr.

Yes

This final chapter is being written in the latter part of August, 1944; it is being written under an apple tree in a lovely green orchard in the interior of France. It could well be that the European war will be over and done with by the time you read this book. Or it might not. But the end is inevitable, and it cannot be put off for long. The German is beaten and he knows it.
********
We have won because we have had magnificent top leadership, at home and in our Allies and with ourselves overseas. Surely America made its two perfect choices in General Eisenhower and General Bradley. They are great men-to me doubly great because they are direct and kind.
********
We won because we were audacious. One could not help but be moved by the colossus of our invasion.
In the emergency of war our nation’s powers are unbelievable. The strength we have spread around the world is appalling even to those who make up the individual cells of that strength. I am sure that in the past two years I have heard soldiers say a thousand times, “If only we could have created all this energy for something good.” But we rise above our normal powers only in times of destruction.
********
We have won this war because our men are brave, and because of many other things-because of Russia, and England, and the passage of time, and the gift of nature’s materials. We did not win it because destiny created us better than all other peoples. I hope that in victory we are more grateful than we are proud. I hope that we can rejoice in victory-but humbly. The dead men would not want us to gloat.
********
Last night we had a violent electrical storm around our countryside. The storm was half over before we realized that the flashes and the crashings around us were not artillery but plain old-fashioned thunder and lightning. It will be odd to hear only thunder again.



These are the words of Ernie Pyle, who was killed by a Japanese sniper eight months later in Okinawa; he was the finest “Embedded reporter” of the Second World War. Michael at Christian Conservative asked, “What is heroism?” and I thought I would share a great example. This came from the final chapter of his book, “Brave Men”.
Are there any Ernie Pyles writing today? Yes.

http://michaelyon-online.com/

A Bit O' Fun

Name five movies that you can watch over and over.

My choices:

Shawshank Redemption
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dumb & Dumber
A Christmas Story
Napoleon Dynamite

Painfully obvious I'm no movie connoisseur (yes, I had to look up the spelling of that!). I've never seen Wuthering Heights, All Quiet on the Western Front or the Godfather, or a lot of movies that are supposedly great. But I don't want the movies you think are the best, just the ones you would feel happy about seeing again tonight.

Anyway, let me see your list.

le

This is for le

At two o’clock in the morning,
the barking dog blues become very apparent to all
like me, who are still evaded by sleep.
You can only turn your pillow so many times before it seems
to have come straight from an oven.
Opening and closing your eyes really does nothing
In the dark, but Hey!
If there was ever a time to do that which is in our opinion best
it’s at two o’clock in the dark morning
when the barking dog blues overtake the unrested.

Ah... Finally... You’re about to drop off...
your body grins to itself...
knowing it wont be long now...

WHA? That Dog! Two houses down!
Starts defending his yard against the tree-rustling wind!

The barking dog blues cover like three heavy blankets
And falling from your window because you’re half-screaming asleep only
makes it worse.
Believe me-I know.

Good Day/Bad Day

A good day. A bad day.

Miscellaneous thought: I love archeology!

le

Barking Dog Snoring Husband

Apologies to Ang Lee. Bark! Bark! Snoring. Bark! Bark! Snoring. Bark! Bark! Snoring. Endless, annoying noise.

What an abysmal night of non-sleep! Chow Yun Fat, take me away!

le