Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Guilt Removal (or How To Love Yourself Even If You're A Miserable SOB)

The story in my local newspaper stated that road rage is henceforth to be referred to as "Intermittent Explosive Disorder" (IED). Researchers have apparently discovered that people who suffer from this 'dysfunction' have lower than average levels of serotonin production or that their bodies do not use it properly.

It's a relief to discover that those who suffer from this malfunction of brain and body aren't really responsible for their abysmal behavior. I sense a whole new area here for defense lawyers to exploit. Just think of all the prison cells that could be freed up by releasing all prisoners who murdered in an explosive rage or those who blew their stack and beat up their wife or kids because dinner wasn't ready on time or some other perceived trivial slight. Women should know that not including enough serotonin in the diet runs the risk of bodily injury.

Furthermore, we can breathe a sigh of relief that the terrorists who murder friend and foe alike with IED's (Intermittent Explosive Disorders) in places like Iraq aren't actually angry with us. They are not conducting a holy war for conquest, they are merely suffering from serotonin deprivation, probably due to our untimely invasion of the place.

So remember, the next time some red-in-the-face guy tailgates you while shouting obscenities out the driver's window he's not really at fault. Just smile and signal that he should follow you to the nearest drug store for a serotonin fix. However, if he's waving a gun perhaps you should head for the nearest police station instead.

One less thing to be responsible for, phew!

Nuda Veritas

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