Sunday, February 03, 2008

About this same time, my husband and I had become friendly with some Mormon missionaries who had appeared at our door proselytizing. They seemed lonely, and so were we, so we invited them in. Eventually we started playing board games with them at our home once a week or so. Before and after our games, they talked to us about Mormonism and I started to feel very troubled. My husband was quite convinced that Mormonism was not the right religion, perhaps more because he had been raised to believe that Catholicism was the only right religion than that he had any true conviction about it, but I wasn't so sure. I was very confused about why I believed what I believed, and quite honestly, what did I believe? On one hand I was becoming friendly with these women from my church who seemed so sincere about loving Jesus and who were so friendly and loving to me, and on the other I had these missionaries telling us that the Mormon church was the only right church. I began to feel more and more pressed to decide what I believed. I began to ask myself why I had let anyone into my life to disturb my comfortable status. Certainly, before all these different elements began inflicting themselves on my psyche, I was quite content just to live and let live when it came to religious things. Why were all these people suddenly bombarding me with disquieting philosophies and ultimatums? Then I also remembered my sister’s admonitions that I had to be “born again,” and I had no idea what that really meant. I was utterly confused. Little did I realize that God was working a miracle in me through His Holy Spirit. He was knocking on the door of my heart; He was preparing me to be pulled out of the muck and mire.
I did something then that was very out of character for me, I guess. I stood at my kitchen window, stared up at the sky, and asked God with all the sincerity I could muster to show me the truth. What did it mean to be a Christian? Did I really have to make some sort of decision? Why wasn't just going to church and being good enough to get me to heaven? I didn't know how He was going to answer me, but today I know that I asked the perfect questions, and God was just waiting.
To be continued...

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