Friday, March 14, 2008

What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Great. Wonder-full. Someone has finally connected the DNA dots, showing us what our future holds. It shouldn’t come as too much of a shock that this theory (remember-it’s just a theory, even if fully believed) comes from the hinder regions of academia. Not hither regions-hinder, (hard ‘I’) hind-der. I mean…You’ll see.
“Sociologist declares: Autistics Prove Evolution!”
According to Grand Master Phiz-(I mean) Dr. Oratio T. Cuttle: Autistics are not developmentally disabled-they are the next great jump forward in Evolution, and are communicating with each other at levels above our (rather slow and gamey) level of thought. While we assume that they are impaired, to autistics we look like cavemen stumbling around, trying to build fires with rocks.
What started the bump? Why will convergent history mark this century for the rise of “The Au”?
Thank Al Gore and Bill Gates. While there have always been autistics (ahead of their time-their time is coming) they couldn’t do much singularly, but computer and internet advances ignited the spark of collective processing of information. The first humans to attach words to objects, creating language were superseded by our Tolstoys, our Shakespeares. We ‘built’ our evolutionary level; now they will build on ours). Proof of this advancement in evolution can be found in the fact that “Autism” is more widespread than ever, seeming almost epidemic. It’s not a problem, it’s the wave of the future, crashing on our shore, beginning the bettering of humanity as (they) step forward to claim pre-eminence.

I don’t doubt that this “flummery” sounds ridiculous-it is, made up out of the whole cloth of my imagination. But I also don’t doubt that such foolishness, if put forward by “A leading University Researcher” or an “Acclaimed Specialist in his field” would be printed as the Gospel Truth by newspapers,
Television News, other media. They can’t believe 1/237th of the tripe that they serve up.
Remember the Reporters Rule: “Dumber stuff always seems to happen on a slow news day.”

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