Friday, August 01, 2008


Please, sit down. Deep breaths. You’re not a bad person; you needn’t feel guilty. We’re here to help. The first step is the hardest, so let’s get over that threshold quickly. You don’t want to elect Barack Obama, but as a Democrat, you feel boxed in, stuck…
It’s all right. Normal, even, to hate the choice which was decided for you, not by you. Your candidate didn’t survive the Primary season, and now your peers are demanding that you get on the bandwagon for their choice, Obama, and you just feel sick about it. Deep breaths. You’re not alone.
More of your fellow Dems have been showing up at these meetings; there is hope, and the situ isn’t as bleak as you may believe.
At these meetings, you can express your feelings without fear of mockery by Republicans. This time around, we regular Republicans can‘t claim any high ground. We’re all in the same boat, so to speak.
We understand that this is a special event in all of our lives; no one is expecting that you have had a political change of heart and mind; please don’t think that we are proselytizing. But for this one election, for the good of our Nation, you wish to vote Republican, to defeat Barack Obama. Yes, we think that he’s a dangerous neophyte also. But don’t worry:
No mockery. No jibes or sarcasm here. We welcome you temporary Republicans whole-heartedly, with respect and understanding of how hard this is for you. We can relate.
Yes. The button. We hired a panel of mental health professionals from across a spectrum of specialties.
They suggest that it is unhealthy to be secretive about your temporary Republican status, as if it were something to be hidden, to feel guilty about. A person feels better when they are honest with everyone, including themselves. So we had these buttons made, which we encourage you to wear. Among your friends and family it could help to point out the ‘temporary’ part. You might see the button showing up on the lapels of some of your most strident Democrat friends. Be strong. Deep breaths. There…that’s better.
Welcome, Temporary Republican. Welcome Home.

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