Saturday, September 20, 2008

I’ve fixed Washington!

I am half genius at times. Modesty demands that I stop there, but I have figured out how to fix Washington D.C., the seat of Government.

First, a few good mentions of the varied thought threads tumbling around our stratosphere:
Government IS broken. For a fairly large country, we don’t seem to get much bang for our tax buck; Two thirds of Wash (please forgive the abbreviate) is earning a living frustrating four thirds of Wash (government math is VERY facile and fluid-you can make figures do/prove anything!) from doing what it is being paid to accomplish.
Imagine a chess board. Imagine every square filled with a chess piece. Imagine the chess pieces stacked on each others shoulders so high that the very top pieces are scraping moondust. That is our broken government in inaction in Washington D.C.

Second, some of the most dangerous players in Wash are the ones who actually do get things done, often to the detriment of the country. Their allegiance is to the Wash chessboard-it’s all they know, it’s all they care about.

Third, for the 44th Presidential election in a row, earnest Politicians are declaring that they (and only they)
Will fix Washington. So call my little idea a backup plan, in case the most recent public servants somehow fail in their quest.

Here T’is:
1. Rather than taxing the peepul back to the Stone Age, I suggest a Tax on Public service.
If you want to be known as Senator Somebody….you must pay a minimum tax of $15,000,000 per year of service. And not out of the public till, either: you must use your own amassed fortune. If you can’t afford it, someone else will.
2. Anyone public servant found with his hand in the till loses the hand. Figuratively speaking, of course: we aren’t Muslim. But that servant would forfeit his entire fortune, and be tossed out of office and right into debtor’s prison, where the amount he attempted to steal would be the price of his freedom.
Note: Just by putting into practice the first two steps, we would see the end of influence peddlers, extorsio-lobbyists, “soft money”. No public servant would be willing to be ‘influenced’ if there was even a small chance that he would be caught and booted into debtor’s prison. The straight and narrow would have to be expanded for all of the honest traffic which brings me to
3. Any actual work which is necessary for the good of the country, such as maintaining the (lovely) infrastructure…will be done by private contractors, not government shovel leaners. Contractors win contracts by bid, not influence. Contractors lose bids by attempted influence, which subjects them to the same debtor’s prison. Can’t show partiality, just because they aren’t as low as public servants. Rather than expanding government to do work…cut a check and put the private sector to work. This means:
Schools? Put them up for bid. If you want to run a school, YOU pay government, government doesn’t pay you.
Health care? Up for bid.
Social Security? Up for bid.
You get the idea: there is no money to be made working FOR the government. Private sector is where the money is, where the money should stay.
4. Ambition in the heart of a politician is like a loaded gun in the hand of a monkey. Ambition must be channeled, directed into positive goals:
If a Senator or Representative can delete $150,000,000 per year of government waste, through firing layers of bureaucracy (ten times his minimum yearly tax)…he is allowed to run for a second term. If not…not.
No more lifetimes of living at the taxpayers expense, filling their pockets with tax dough. Once government gets cut down to a workable size, where goals are accomplished quickly and cheaply…maybe a third term would be allowed for a public servant. But they would have to maintain that government waste to minimum tax ratio. I don’t want to be considered unfair. The one who cuts the most waste can be President. For the next year. One term and out.

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