This is something I don't often do here at FDW, but sometimes my online life and real life collide-I had to interview a band on tour, the 'Meth Living Suicides', and I thought, why not post it?
The Meth Living Suicides have been together as a "Death Metal" group for about 8 months, playing events around their hometown of Ames, Iowa. There have been twenty seven different bandmembers in that time, backing the lead singer, Arc, and his sister Largan, who plays the bass drum backing CD in the boombox.
I met the siblings at their hotel room, and my first question was to Arc:
Doug: 27 different members in the band? Isn't that quite a bit of turnover, even for a group just getting started?
Doug: Excuse me?
Arc: @#$%^&*( @#$%^&*(!
Doug: Largan, could you possibly translate what Arc is saying?
Largan (Fake British accent): He said, I guess so.
Doug: Thank you. Would you tell me about your song which rose to the top of the Contemporary Christian Music charts?
Largan: Do you mean, "Die, you @#$%^&*(, Die!?"
Doug: No, the song was, "Free The Sinner".
Largan: Oh. That hit # 1?
Doug: On the Christian music charts, yes.
Largan: Well, @#$%^&*(! They didn't get it then, did they?
Doug: Get it?
Largan: Yeah-if we can kill God, it would free the sinner. Those @#$%^&*( @#$%^&*(!
Okay, you've caught me. A little bit of fiction, just for fun. I have little regard for Christian Music groups in 2009-there's an entire subculture of supposedly Christian acts drawing kids into idolatry. If a Christian teenage girl can list all the members of "Crimson Moonlight" but has trouble naming any apostle besides Peter (He rocks!) that girl is in trouble.
I just went to CCM online and looked for an appropriate band name to goof on, and I found that my little mockery almost didn't go far enough.
Crimson Moonlight is led by something named Pilgrim Bestiarius. Howdy, Pilgrim!