Tuesday, September 25, 2012

You Think You're Funny, But You Are

I love reddit-it's the melting pot of peoples who want the world to laugh, cry, sing or shout with them-and it's a lovely mess.
A post of a cat with a Batman logo mustache may be followed by a rambling confession of
an addiction (allegedly) overcome, or a wedding picture with Satan officiating. It is chaos, voted up and down the page, and the source of the comedic cat scratch at the top of this page about "Grammar Christians".
Here's one of the things that divides the Real God and His crowd and the rest of the world: We can take a joke. If it's funny, even if I am the butt, I can laugh. 
Muslims aren't the only thin-skinned religious types, though they do rank (boy, ARE THEY!) high on most lists for not having a sense of humor about their religion. Hindus will kill you dead, too, for daring to blah blah blah their blah blah blah.
Why are the adherents of fake religions so humorless compared to Christians?
Insecurity. Christians are secure in their knowledge of God, of their relationship with God.
We don't kill others to force them to accept Christ-that's the kind of crazy that Catholics have instituted throughout the world.
Hmmmm...were the Emperor Constantine and Mohammed ever seen in the same room at the same time?
A lot of the troubles we see today burst forth in the approximate Anno Domini 300.
Bye the bye, I am NOT welcoming attempts to test the boundaries of my sense of humor regarding God-please don't comment the most vicious, evil rotten blasphemes that you can think of to see if I still can laugh.
I honor God here, and I know that the temptation to mock the True God can be overwhelming (reddit isn't the only place I peruse on the internets, or visit in my offline life).
If you do feel the need to dis-honor the Honorable, check yourself and ask why.
If you DO think of a corker, a good 'un, a funny 'joke' about God...run it by a Muslim first, as in,
"Allah walks into a bar and sees Mohammed doing flaming shots..."
See how hard he laughs before posting it here.


Doug said...

Here's a bit of fun, sorta tables turned type of fun.
What makes God laugh?

"Psalm 37:12-13 (HCSB)
12 The wicked person schemes against the righteous and gnashes his teeth at him.
13 The Lord laughs at him because He sees that his day is coming."

"Psalm 2:1-4 (HCSB)
1 Why do the nations rebel and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth take their stand, and the rulers conspire together against the LORD and His Anointed One:
3 “Let us tear off their chains and free ourselves from their restraints.”
4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord ridicules them."

"Psalm 59:7-8 (HCSB)
7 Look, they spew from their mouths— sharp words from their lips. “For who,” ⌊they say,⌋ “will hear?”
8 But You laugh at them, LORD; You ridicule all the nations."

You can read in the Bible of God's sarcasm regarding man who fashions an idol and then bows down to it as if it were God.

"Isaiah 44:14-19 (HCSB)
14 He cuts down cedars for his use, or he takes a cypress or an oak. He lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a laurel, and the rain makes it grow.
15 It serves as fuel for man. He takes some of it and warms himself; also he kindles a fire and bakes bread; he even makes it into a god and worships it; he makes an idol from it and bows down to it.
16 He burns half of it in a fire, and he roasts meat on that half. He eats the roast and is satisfied. He warms himself and says, “Ah! I am warm, I see the blaze.”
17 He makes a god or his idol with the rest of it. He bows down to it and worships; He prays to it, “Save me, for you are my god.”
18 Such people do not comprehend and cannot understand, for He has shut their eyes so they cannot see, and their minds so they cannot understand.
19 No one reflects, no one has the perception or insight to say, “I burned half of it in the fire, I also baked bread on its coals, I roasted meat and ate. I will make something detestable with the rest of it, and I will bow down to a block of wood.”

Lucia said...

As a rule the funniest make-fun-of-a-group jokes I've heard have been from members of the group. For example, my daughter told me this one:
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I don't know.
Q: 13.
A: ...?
Q: (tearfully) It just is, OK?

Serious question for you, which I may have asked before, but if so I don't remember the answer: in your view, were there any Christians at all between 300 and 1517? (1517 was, as you no doubt recall, the year Martin Luther, in the memorable phrase found in a collection of school-essay malapropisms, "nailed 95 theocrats to a church door.")

Doug said...

Hi Lu-I think your question has to do with trying to understand why "Catholics" aren't Christian-if THEY aren't Christian, then who were the Christians during the period you mention?
To put it simply,God has had His people all through history.
And all through that same history
there have been those 'others' who have rebelled against God who also are in conflict with God's people.
On to the Catholics-when Constantine declared that Christianity would be the state religion, it was an attempt to 'infiltrate and take over' unfriendly territory-rather than continuing to torment and kill Christians for their faith, he assumed command OF their faith, and basically declared himself the leader of the church.
The true Christians would have none of that,and Constantine continued to torture and kill them, no longer under the Roman flag, so to speak, but now under the authority of the Church.
Down through history-Foxe's Book of Martyrs covers this era quite well-Christians rejected the false church, the false Popes who claimed to be God's Regent on earth, who were in fact descending not from the Apostle Paul, but from the rule set in place by Constantine. The Popes were actually "little Emperors" and acted up as such, apostatizing each other, burning the bones of the previous heretic, making themselves rich beyond measure; the gold which truly drove their greed was Power.
Where were the True Christians during the time frame you mention?
They were in the dungeons being tortured. They were in the city squares, set on fire. They were being hunted and killed simply for accepting God and rejecting a religion made by man which glorifies man.
You won't ever see the Pope in street clothes, living in a humble hut. To this day he (usually a he)
wears the finest, lives like an emperor in a palace, has no want of food or drink.
And no, I'm NOT talking about Mitt Romney.

I've known many Christians who came out of Catholicism, as I did Lutheranism, and now are simply Christians. One couple I remember who had a dozen or so children joked, "We got saved late."
Lu,this is longer than I wanted to write; I hope I've made more clear why I don't consider Catholics Christian. There are thousands of reasons, but these few should suffice.

I get your joke,and:

Turkey number one: gobble gobble gobble!
Turkey number two: ________ ______ ______.
Turkey number one: Hey! Why didn't you gobble gobble gobble?
Turkey number two: I'm chicken.

Lucia said...

Thanks for the explanation. I did wonder. (I have my own ideas on judging who is and isn't right with God, as you know, but we needn't get into that again.)

One other joke I kinda like:

One Sunday morning a Bible-belt pastor tells his assistant to handle the service and sneaks out to the golf course. It's a beautiful morning, and, since everyone is in church, the course is deserted. As the pastor tees up his ball for the first hole, two angels -- call them Pete and Mike -- watch from above.
"Oh, he's going to be in trouble," says Pete.
"Shh. Just watch," Mike replies.
The pastor hits the ball, a sweet shot. It whizzes through the air, makes a perfect landing on the green, and rolls into the hole.
"A hole in one?" Pete gasps.
"Shh," says Mike again.
The same thing happens on the second, third and fourth holes. As the pastor makes his way around the course, racking up the holes in one, Pete becomes more and more incensed.
"I can't believe this," he says. "Why hasn't God gotten around to smiting him yet?"
"But this is so much better," Mike answers. "Think about it: who can he tell?"

James said...

"You won't ever see the Pope in street clothes, living in a humble hut."

You probably won't see a megachurch pastor living in one either. John Hagee brought in over $1.25 million in 2001.

John MacArthur brought in about $250,000. These are the more conservative pastors.

Osteen, Warren and Robertson probably make more. I won't even bother to mention the crooks of TBN.

Clearly, living high off the hog isn't something exclusive to a few men within the Catholic hierarchy (and most Catholic clergy are squeaking by).

That being said, I have a problem with ANY religious leader living a life of extravagance. Is it a "sin", though? I don't know ... you tell me.

Lucia said...

Doug likes to quote a verse about "walking humbly with your God." Since I just disparaged the practice of judging others' faith, I won't remark on any particular instance, but I'll say that in my experience a comfortable life makes humility more challenging, and I'd think the challenge would increase proportionately with the trappings of wealth.

Doug said...

"the trappings of wealth."
"It's a TRAP!"
James, I don't expect you to remember all the dross I've written here at FDW, but I did a bit a few years ago where an Angel from God visited a number of the "Televangelists" to tell them that the time had come for them to go to Heaven.
Hagee was too busy to go with the Angel, claiming that he had too much work to do building HIS empire.
Another televangelist kept the Angel waiting in an outer office; God had told the Angel to only wait for so long, and then leave.
Finally, the Angel came to me, and before he (?) finished telling me it was time to go, I was jumping up and saying "YES!"
Hagee looks like a chubbier Rush Limbaugh, but he has some doctrinal flaws that are troubling,
specifically the prosperity gospel-that God wants us to be rich in this world, rather than laying up treasures in Heaven.
Of those you mentioned, the only doctrinally solid Christian is MacArthur, and I am sure that he has made a lot more than $250,000 in any given year...and I'm also certain that if he had to choose today between staying here or being in Heaven, he would choose Heaven.
Look into his finances, James, and you will probably find that he 'makes' at least $250,000 in book sales each year, including his study Bible.
Another thing, James: A "JABA argument" isn't a fair comparison between the Pope and anyone else.
The Pope wins in the 'rich in this world' contest. He could best all of the financial gains of all of the televangelists, regular Pastors and common Christians from all through history.

" in my experience a comfortable life makes humility more challenging, and I'd think the challenge would increase proportionately with the trappings of wealth."
Well said, Lu, and you are echoing the Scriptures which tell us to not regard wealth as something to be sought. I am living a very comfortable life, and compared to most semi-affluent peoples I would be considered a pauper. I have a few things, and will always be collecting more, but I have them; they don't have me.
I've been gone a few days from blogging as I was out of town at a celebration for those in my workplace who have endured/thrived/survived ten years with the company.
It was great fun,but it's good to be back in my own tiny little place.

Lu, here's that verse:
"Micah 6:8 (HCSB)
8 Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the LORD requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God."