Friday, June 06, 2014
Obama's Three Pen Opera
"As I have stated many times, the United States will never, and I mean NEVER negotiate with Terrorists. That is our law and we are a nation of Laws." With great flourish, Obama pulled the pen from the cap-"Today, I sign a Presidential Directive designating the Taliban as 'Freedom Fighters'!"
The Cabinet cheered and applauded as he put name to paper, then hushed as he uncapped the next pen.
"We will never, and I mean NEVER devalue the lives of our soldier citizens by agreeing to excahnge
war prisoners to win their release. With this pen I sign my Presidential Directive setting the exchange rate at five prisoners to one soldier. This means that rather than devaluing our military women and men, we esteem them to be worth five times as much as our Freedom Fighting Partners in Peace!"
Joe Biden openly wept, looking straight into camera two, as President Obama signed history.
He paused dramatically before picking up the third pen.
"With this final pen today, a special pen once owned by that great Patriot Pol Pot, I sign my magnificent name to a Presidential Directive declaring the dissolution of both the Tea and Republican Parties. We will have PEACE! No more war loving so-called Patriots sending our young people into harm's way! We have WON!"