Saturday, April 08, 2006

SCORE! Found Another Lost Gospel! Yay!

No, not the lost/censured/hidden Gospel Of Judas-that’s old news. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
I’m talking about the even more recent, greatly more lost, oh so much more heavily censured, unfairly hidden from the world for centuries...Gospel of ‘ol Doubting Thomas. (Ta Dah!)
Only a few fragments have been deciphered by scholars since a wandering Hockey fan (don’t ask) in the Israeli village of Blintz tripped over his stick and unearthed “The Find Of The Week!”
Here are a few of the startling revelations from the deciphered text:

“I don’t think there’s twelve of us-who’s this Bartholomew guy? I don’t know any Bartholomew.”

“Peter’s the #2 man? Not if we get to vote on it!”

“Feed 5000? I’ll believe it when I see it. Okay I saw it, but I still don’t believe it!”

“Matthew offered to do my taxes for me-I figured, who would know better, right? Guess what? I had to pay in! Thanks, Matt!”

“Judas just read his Gospel to me, and asked what I think of it...Snoresville. And big surprise-he’s the hero!
I told him I’ll probably like the movie better.”

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