Sunday, July 09, 2006

You Might Be...

“Playboy's life: Girls & booze


The alleged ringleader of the tunnel terror plot lived the life of an international playboy - on orders from Al Qaeda.

Assem Hammoud, 31, even fooled his mother, if Lebanese police and U.S. anti-terror officials are correct.

His mother, Nabila Qotob, said Hammoud drinks alcohol, had girlfriends, traveled widely and showed no similarities to Islamic militants.”

“Lebanese police, who arrested Hammoud on April 27, said in a statement that the suspect claimed he had been ordered to maintain a fun-loving, secular lifestyle to hide his Islamic militancy.”

We’ve got a problem in this country, people don’t know whether or not they are Muslims, so I’ve come up with a few rules to help out:

If your third wife AND your camel both spit in your eye...You might be a Muslim.

If you have a hole in the floor and no toilet paper in the house...You might be a Muslim.

If you can’t find Israel on a map, but can find Mecca with your butt in the air...You might be a Muslim.

If your den has two pictures of Osama Bin Laden, and no Dale Earnhardt memorabilia...You just might be a Muslim.

If your wedding party celebrated your nuptials with AK-47s...You might be a Muslim.

And finally...

If your suicide bombing vest clashes with your humanity...You might be a Muslim.

Good night, everybody! We’ll see you farther down the road...Don’t shoot!

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