Saturday, March 06, 2010
This is “Oscar WKND” and, as usual, I will celebrate the Oscars by going to church and ignoring the enclave of “stars” thanking their mothers and agents while clutching statues in sweaty manicured hands.
I just had a mental image of a red carpet microphone nuisance-Mary Hart, or Joan Rivers…trolling the red carpet, trying to hook celebrities as they enter: “THEE Event Of The AGES”:
Mary Hart: “Mary Hart for ET, welcoming you to our telecast of the Golden Calf Celebration and after party. Kicking things off, coming towards me is Miriam being escorted by her brother Aaron. Miriam, who are you wearing?”
Miriam: “It’s just a dress. Um…Egyptian? I don’t know.”
Mary Hart: “Aaron, I imagine that you are both excited, waiting for your brother to come back down the mountain. Can you tell us how excited you are?”
Aaron: “Well, he’s been up there quite awhile. I’d say…(looking at Miriam) we are very excited.” Miriam nods and smiles.
Mary Hart: “And who are you wearing tonight?”
Aaron: “Who? My wife dresses me-she had a headache, so she stayed in the tent; I’ll have to ask her and get back to you.”
Miriam: “Forgive my brother, Mary-he’s such a guy. Valentino.”