Saturday, October 25, 2008

Palate Cleanser

Too much too lately about the P-word that ends with ‘tics’. You know the one I mean. Banished! Booted to the outer darkness, at least for one post. Mention no more that dreaded word.
So-no World Series last night, meaning that I burned a few hours of vay-kay for no good reason. What did I end up doing? Watching Ghosthunters shows. It’s like the best buttery popcorn of TV-absolutely no nutritional value, but tasty. I love the pomposity of the Ghost hunting teams, so secure in their knowledge, as when the Leader points at some electrical doo-hickey and pronounces the presence of ‘visitors from the other side’.
It’s golden, friends. Some Ghostbuster Wannabe shouts to an empty room, “Show us if you are here!” then, if something IS heard, they go into Robert Altman mode, talking over each other AND the evidential noise:
“Did you heat that? DID YOU HEAR THAT?”
“Yeah-it sounded like it was coming from that wall!”
“Did you hear that?”
-this exchange is usually repeated seven times in 30 seconds; by then the spirit has given up on trying to break into their conversation and moved on.
This is great Television! The night vision green, overused to absurdity, looks cool, especially the eyes of the “Ghost Hunters”.
You can tell that they are scientists, because they have the absolute latest digital audio/video equipment, heat sensors, EMF detectors…and at least one Psychic.
A Ghost Hunting team without a psychic would be like a TV doctor without a stethoscope.
You’ve got to have someone along who can sense ‘presences’. Just to confirm the data from the electric doo- hickeys.
I won’t burden you by rehashing my ghost experiences-I’ve written about them before-if you go to my archives from previous Octobers, you can be a ghost stories hunter.
I love it when the Ghost Hunters include in their band of heroes neophytes whose only purpose is to scream and run. The stalwart investigators who have trespassed in many haunted places would look out of character if they ran screaming like little girls, so they get some young woman to carry a night vision green camera focused on her face as she pinballs through tunnels and hallways.
If you happen to miss a moment of their collected ‘evidence’ fear not…they will replay each bit 117 times.
“Did you heat that? DID YOU HEAR THAT?”
“Yeah-it sounded like it was coming from that wall!”
“Did you hear that?”
Yup. What else you got, Cap’n?

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